When I was a kid, our neighbors used to have a record with a funny song that we loved.  I wish I remember what it was so I can acquire the mp3 and enjoy it forever and ever..
It went something like this:
[tune – lullaby]
Go to bed
Go to sleep
I’ve had enough of your bull-shit
Close your eyes,
You little monster
Or I’ll blister your behind
As I explained,
You’re a pain
When you’re tired and cranky
I get cranky,
sometimes too,
like when I’m sick and tired..
of you!
No you can’t have a drink,
no I won’t read you one more story.
I’ve had it up to here.
I could use a drink myself.
[tune These are a few of my favorite things]
Pampers and potty and runny red noses
Babies are seldom a bed full of roses
Whining and crying and carrying on.
This is what sucks about being a mom.
Babies are cute,
but it’s just when they’re sleeping
New moms don’t realize what soon they’ll be keeping
Late hours that Dracula cannot live on..
This is what sucks about being a mom.
When a toy breaks,
When your back aches,
When you’re feeling down…
Real moms aren’t depressed when they see a big mess…
They just know that a child’s around.
[tune somewhere over the rainbow]
Let me go to the bathroom,
all alone
Let me watch some tv,
or talk on the telephone.
I hate Ernie and Bert
and Rainbow Brite,
I’m sick to death of the Smurfs,
So give me a break tonight.
Please my darling daughter won’t you go and bug your father,
I don’t want you near me.
[and then I forget the rest… I can’t remember any other lyrics, nor how the song ends…. doh!]

My parents were pretty grumpy when we’d go around singing “bullshit” and so we would substitute bullcrap… but then later, when my sister went into the 8th grade, she started complaining about her Civics teacher.  My dad jumped at that and said “You can use his name for that bad word”.  So we would sing, “Go to bed, go to sleep…I’ve had enough of your Bullock.”

Anyway, I wish I remember how it ended.  Or at least the song name or the artist name.  Since it was my neighbor’s record, I have no idea.

I just think it’s funny that between the time I was in the 6-7th grade, I already knew kids were trouble.  🙂  Maybe this song has something to do with me never wanting kids.  Or did I like this song because I agreed that kids were trouble.